I am working on expanding my capacity right now.

I’m actually in a coaching group where we are learning techniques to take on more emotionally, physically, and intellectually. I’m doing this because I want to expand in my capacity in business to achieve my impossible goals, but I’m also doing this because of the impact I believe it will have in my personal life.

I’ve recently volunteered to do some marketing as part of community projects and events, and I know that these obligations in addition to the things I’ve said yes to in my business could result in MORE of my go-to feelings:

OVERWHELM
STRESS
DEFEAT

I didn’t even realize how much these feelings fueled my actions, and how much I take action from a place of obligation and drudgery instead of joy and generosity. And I’m beginning to fathom how much more energy I could have in reserves if I simply act from a different emotional state.

Instead of doing a pro bono project from a place of ‘obligation,’ I take action from a place of ‘joy’ and all of a sudden, I’m more enthusiastic in how I ask for help, my ideas are more exciting, and my energy is contagious in the RIGHT way.

Some helpful questions when I find myself feeling drained or like I’m doing something out of obligation:

What if this were fun?

What if this were easy?

I’m not exactly sure who I got these questions from, but I know they aren’t mine. Marie Forleo, maybe? Just to give credit where it’s due, or at least not take credit when it isn’t mine to take…

Not every project we say yes to is going to be inherently fun, or connect to your bigger mission as a human being.

For example, my car is a rolling garbage can.

I’m joking a little bit, but it has been The Joke in our family that my car is where half-eaten snack packs and the bottom of a Starbucks Creme Frappuccino live for far longer than they need to. Like, my car can get REAL gross. I’ll go months without really acknowledging it, rolling my eyes when I open the door and a mostly-but-not-all-the-way-gone apple juice rolls out.

It’s exhausting.

And I’ve historically gotten fed up and had a big huff about it, cleaning and slamming things around and muttering ‘what the actual fuck’ under my breath for a few hours on a Saturday while I get the job done. But this last weekend I decided it was time for this to happen from a different place.

I cleaned my car out with help from the kids. I took out all the car seats and disposed of the package of trail mix that had made its way under the floor mats. I even took out the floor mats and contemplate the best way to get them truly, deeply clean.

Zeb suggested that we take the mats to a car wash with a drive-in bay and power washers. This was obviously the right move, but it required some orchestration:

First, vacuuming out my car.

Then, loading the mats into Zeb’s truck and taking it to the carwash with the bays because I don’t want sopping wet floor mats in my Yukon.

But I wanted the job done, so again, I enlisted the kids. And I asked ‘How can I make this fun?’

I offered them a little $ for helping me with vacuuming out the car and washing the mats, and promised I’d even take them somewhere to spend their cash afterwards.

They got on board, but what happened next surprised me.

Vacuuming out the car was still a sucky, gross chore. But we listened to fun music to make it suck less. And then we did the floor mats with a power washer and a soapy brush and it was literally one of the most fun experiences I have ever had with my older kids.

It was like the gas station fight in Zoolander, but far less dangerous.

The overspray, the power the kids felt as they wielded the tools, the joking disgust we all conveyed as we discovered some kind of floor mat jerky pasted to the back seat mat, it was so much laughter and joy and fun.

We had to call daddy and brag about it afterwards. I’ll never forget the joyful hugs I got from all three of my older kids as we wrapped up the job. And they were enthusiastic about loading the mats back in and putting them in my Yukon when they’d dried off, too.

I tell you this story because I think there are some powerful questions to ask in life, and ‘what if this were fun?’ is one of them.

What if this were easy?

That’s another one!

Sometimes we overcomplicate how hard a thing may be. In my business I’ve gotten to a point where so much of my work day is spent in meetings that it is difficult for me to do the real work. So I decided this week that I needed to take a meeting hiatus and really buckle down on some focused projects.

My brain immediately objected to this idea. What would my clients and my standing meetings say to this change? How complicated is it going to be to reschedule all these meetings?

But I just decided instead, what if this were easy?

I don’t need a lengthy excuse or a scheduling back and forth. I’ll simply send a note saying I’m unable to meet and would the following week be okay for our conversation. That’s easy, quick, and a relief.

This week, if you feel yourself about to take action from a place of obligation or dread, or if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the complexity of something in front of you borrow one of these questions for your own life. I’d love to hear how it goes.